To the Acura Driving Teenager

Hi, you might remember me. I was the guy in the Porsche this afternoon you wanted to race. I know you were perplexed when I didn't take you up on your challenge. Allow me to explain.

See, once upon a time, I was a street racer too. I had a car I thought was very fast and I took great pleasure in revving my 4 cylinder engine and challenging all comers, so trust me, I know where you are coming from. I chose not to race you because I am 31 years old now. A lot has changed since I was your age.

Frankly, at my age, I am more concerned with the price of gas than bragging rights to a street race. Seems strange doesn't it? When your mommy stops buying your gas and you finally get a job, I think it will clear up for you.

There are some other reasons as well.

Your car says Acura on the front of it. Acura is a make of automobile manufactured by Honda, a corporation mostly known for making fuel efficient vehicles. My car says Porsche on the front, a company mostly known for making incredibly performant vehicles. Think on that one for a second.

As they say on TV, "But Wait, there is more!"

Your car has a wing on the rear. A quite impressive structure, your wing. I believe it stands at least a foot tall. It also looks homemade, did you make it yourself?

My car also has a wing on the rear. It isn't quite as tall as your wing but a tad more stylish than your contraption which happens to look more at home on top of a semi-tractor cab than a japanese import vehicle. Just my opinion, mind you.

Opinions aside for a moment, there is another subtle difference between your wing and mine. Your wing is on the rear of your car. Your drive wheels are in the front. Any fourth grader with a passing interest in aerodynamics will tell you your wing puts extra downforce on the rear of your car thusly, reducing the traction available. Not a great feature when racing, let me tell you. On the contrary, the wing on my car is over my drive wheels and adds traction. A handy feature when racing in wet conditions, as it was today.

My car also has a deep exhaust sound. It came from the factory like that. Sounds powerful doesn't it? Not to be mistaken for a car impersonating a misfiring weed eater as your noble ride appeared to be doing zooming up behind me.

Finally, notice the panels on my car are all the same color. This might not provide any racing benefits, but it sure looks much better than your custom patchwork quilt look.

It is possible I am just out of touch with what is 'Cool' these days. If we meet again, my greasy haired speed racer, kindly fill me in on how puberty is going.

Comments
Seems like that teenager really got under your skin. ;)
# Posted By P.J. Onori | 3/15/07 6:32 PM
@P.J.,

After re-reading that, I'd agree with you. Little wanker did get a rise out of me.

DW
# Posted By Dan Wilson | 3/15/07 6:37 PM
amen brother

although your wing is actually engineered to reduce your coefficient of drag (what your car looks like to air while it's in motion - how hard it is for you to push through it) rather than to increase downforce
# Posted By Scott Scazafavo | 3/15/07 6:37 PM
@Scott,

Do you expect me to take lessons in Fluid Dynamics from a man who can't properly operate a shift key? ;)

DW
# Posted By Dan Wilson | 3/15/07 6:39 PM
Do you expect me to be affected by someone that doesn't know the difference between Fluid Dynamics and Aerodynamics?
# Posted By Scott Scazafavo | 3/15/07 6:41 PM
@ Scott:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluid_flow
--snip--<br />
<em>
Fluid dynamics is the sub-discipline of fluid mechanics dealing with fluids (liquids and gases) in motion. It has several subdisciplines itself, including aerodynamics (the study of gases in motion) and hydrodynamics (the study of liquids in motion).
</em>
# Posted By Dan Wilson | 3/15/07 6:45 PM
Unless his Acura was a NSX.... :) And I'd almost bet Honda spends more $$ racing than Porsche does these days... and if you really want to fling insults around :) a Porsche is nothing more than a fancy Volkswagon :)

I still woulda stomped it and showed him who's boss.
# Posted By Jim | 3/15/07 7:19 PM
@Jim,

Thanks for the comment. I was mostly horsing around. I paid $3k U.S. for my car so I don't pretend to have a special work of automotive art.

This post was largely for entertainment and very cathartic for me. I was pretty annoyed with the little bugger. I suppose my old age is starting to kick in.

Next thing you know, i'll be yelling at the kids to keep their DARN BALLS out of my YARD!

DW
# Posted By Dan Wilson | 3/15/07 7:34 PM
Hey - a Porsche is a Porsche (unless it's a 914) :)

Jim
# Posted By Jim | 3/15/07 7:50 PM
I have to ask... why is it that, at your age you're mostly concerned with the price of gas yet in this contest you weren't the one driving the fuel-efficient vehicle ? Could this be that this whole blog entry is a manifestation of your envy ? Hunt down the guy... swap keys - you'll both be happier for it ;-)
# Posted By Jamie Badman | 3/16/07 4:37 AM
@Jamie,

Thanks for the comment. Actually, my car gets 31 mpg on the highway and 25-27 in town Jersey traffic. Reasonably fuel efficient, would you agree?

Dw
# Posted By Dan Wilson | 3/16/07 8:12 AM
This was a great post and I know how you feel.

Three years ago, I purchased an 86 Corvette from my father-in-law who purchased it from the original owner, his brother-in-law. Unless you know better, that year's engine only produces about 245hp. That's somewhat less than current-year models of less-sporty cars. (On the other hand, it weighs quite a bit less than a steel-body car.)

I got my ass blown away by some guy in a Dodge Ram diesel with duallies, even. ;) But, I took it in stride. It's funny because there is always someone that wants to race you when sitting at a stop light.

Half of the time, I don't mess with them because, in reality, I'm afraid they might be able to pull away from me. :-)

I'm saving up to get another 100hp later this summer. That will help quite a bit.

However, on the conservative side of things, even with some fuel system problems I'm working on, I still get 20+mpg in city driving. On the interstates I can get 25-27mpg (even with the convertible top down). In my opinion, that's not bad for a 21-year-old muscle car.

M!ke
# Posted By Michael Dawson | 3/16/07 9:06 AM
What's really funny is the look on their faces as they watch you pull away from that precious Mustang in your Trailblazer SS. Apparently they aren't familiar with the SS acronym, or the fact that a Trailblazer SS comes from the factory with a Corvette based LS2 motor producing 395Hp and 400lb/ft. I love sleepers! ;^)
# Posted By Bryan | 3/27/07 10:46 AM
BlogCFC was created by Raymond Camden. This blog is running version 5.9.001. Contact Blog Owner